Hey Dad

Penny came home a couple of weeks ago to advise me that our youngest (William) was going on a school excursion to Canberra and that she was going to accompany his class as one of the volunteer parents.

Apart from the fact I liken, volunteering as a class parent on one of those trips to the slow and consistent pain inflicted when whipping yourself with a cat-o-nine tails, she was determined to spend quality time with William.

As she delivered this news, I could see her staring at me for some reason with an expected look. I stared back at her, antagonistically, with a look that reflected some 20 years of marriage. It took a few seconds for me to come to the realisation that she wouldn’t be home for 3 days and that she had the expectation that I would look after Daniel for that whole time.

With the skill of a well honed parent, she immediately interrupted the silence with a, You’ll be alright! as, I can only imagine, she must have seen the blood drain from my face.

Now, we all love to have time with our children, however you can’t dispute the fact that, over time, our parental roles develop in isolation from each other. Caring for our children in a direct and dependent manner had not previously entered into my job description.

I liken my experience to an email I received recently comparing the differences between men and women. It claimed that mums remember their children’s birthdays, boyfriends/girlfriends, favourite foods, favourite movies, favourite toys, etc. while dads are only vaguely aware that they share their house with small people.

With less than 21 days notice to prepare for my 3 day ordeal (and I was going to need every moment) I had to put a plan into action:

• 3 days of food – Check
• 3 days of clothes – Check
• 3 days of school books laid out – Check
• 3days of school lunches ready- Check (Rod’s handy dad tip … I found out later that you make the sandwiches on the day. By planning this particular task 2 weeks in advance I made the sandwiches inedible ;-)
• 3 days of pre-cooked dinners – Check
• A large wad of takeaway restaurant giveaways by the telephone – Big Check.

The planning was all going well when Daniel asked me, What if mum and William were delayed an extra day in Canberra …? I didn’t feel the impact with the floor!

I knew I had to implement a backup plan.

The backup plan was basic and yet contained the necessary components to sustain life … that is, putting the takeaway restaurants on speed dial and inquiring with the local pizza shop as to whether they serve breakfast.

Needless to say, by the time the big day came around I hadn’t slept for 2 days but took solace in the fact that the following 3 days had been planned to the minute with military precision.

The time I spent with Daniel was really great. It ended up being a valuable experience for both of us and gave us time to reconnect. We ended up with takeaway food every night (typical) and watching movies that mum doesn’t normally like watching – action stuff!

There is no doubt about it that looking after kids is hard work. I take my hat off to all those parents out there that have a sole responsibility – it must be enormously tough.

I don’t pretend that 3 days of looking after Daniel was comparable to being on my own all the time but it was enough of a reality check to know that I love my wife, not just for who she is, but for what she does for our family and the responsibility she takes on, on a 24 hour basis.

(I love you Penny)