Yes, I know it’s meant to come last in the order, but it’s almost the holidays, why not put it second? And for my second act of rebellion … ‘automobile’ is strictly defined as well a car, but I don’t drive, nor do I have any entertaining car stories. I do instead, have some interesting wheelchair stories from a misspent youth, so we’re going with that okay?
If you want to run away you need a better get-away vehicle
Read more: Planes, trains and automobiles: Part 2 – Automobiles
It’s a really hard topic to write about. If you have a physical disability, chances are that you’ve needed help (the unpaid kind) from a friend or family member at some point in you life. Have you ever had those instances of help thrown back at you in the ‘heat of battle’? I have. I suspect most of us have. Here is my take on why it sucks.
If you’re anything like me, you hate asking anyone for help in ways that your able-bodied peers don’t usually need help. I have stayed awake all night rather than ask for help, and spent an extra hour or two on the floor rather than hassle someone unnecessarily. My reasoning being, I choose to live my life as independently as I can. This means accepting that from time to time I will be uncomfortable and inconvenienced because I can’t want independence on the one hand and expect others to stop their daily lives on the other.
So your child has just been diagnosed with cerebral palsy? I’m sorry, that sucks. It really does. No, your lives won’t be the same, nor will that of your child. I guess it’s still too early to be able to tell how things will be. It’s okay to mourn what could have been. We all wonder sometimes. Just remember to find the good bits in the current moment, however small or fleeting (given time, you really will find some).
And no, neither one of you did anything to deserve this. Even though I know you do, you shouldn’t feel guilty for this. Hopefully time will fade that a little. It sounds lame, and I know you want a reason as to why you and not someone else, but there really isn’t one.
Anyone who is a friend of mine knows that they are in for some unusual experiences. I’ve been known to wear ‘Shrek’ horns around my house. I have also taken part in enthusiastic discussions with complete strangers as to why they really shouldn’t say bad things about ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. Yes, life with me is unique, but there are also other times when the unsuspecting around me realise just how unique I am, what friendship with me might occasionally entail, and these times are weird and uncomfortable for both of us.
I have a carer in the morning to help me get out of bed and dressed for the day. I have another carer at night to get me back into bed again. For the most part, this routine works well. It’s seamless and disrupts little around me.
Freya
Welcome to freefall… I'm in my late twenties. My great loves are the creative arts, particularly music and creative writing. I have cerebral palsy (CP). In my case it means that I can't walk very easily - I use a chair most of the time. More about me…
