Being in my early thirties, many of my friends are thinking about having kids. As a result, some of them ask me the questions Can you have kids?
and Do you want kids?
Yes, physically I can have children. A pregnancy would be, more than likely, uncomfortable for my structurally unique
body (my hips and back would hate me for it). It would be tough, but I could if I wanted to.
It’s a really hard topic to write about. If you have a physical disability, chances are that you’ve needed help (the unpaid kind) from a friend or family member at some point in you life. Have you ever had those instances of help thrown back at you in the ‘heat of battle’? I have. I suspect most of us have. Here is my take on why it sucks.
If you’re anything like me, you hate asking anyone for help in ways that your able-bodied peers don’t usually need help. I have stayed awake all night rather than ask for help, and spent an extra hour or two on the floor rather than hassle someone unnecessarily. My reasoning being, I choose to live my life as independently as I can. This means accepting that from time to time I will be uncomfortable and inconvenienced because I can’t want independence on the one hand and expect others to stop their daily lives on the other.
Anyone who is a friend of mine knows that they are in for some unusual experiences. I’ve been known to wear ‘Shrek’ horns around my house. I have also taken part in enthusiastic discussions with complete strangers as to why they really shouldn’t say bad things about ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. Yes, life with me is unique, but there are also other times when the unsuspecting around me realise just how unique I am, what friendship with me might occasionally entail, and these times are weird and uncomfortable for both of us.
I have a carer in the morning to help me get out of bed and dressed for the day. I have another carer at night to get me back into bed again. For the most part, this routine works well. It’s seamless and disrupts little around me.
I have ‘favourite’ everythings (I’m a passionate person), I even have favourite seasons. Mine are the chilly months of, well, winter but more particularly I adore autumn. I even have an autumn leaf tattoo.
Why I am so profoundly in love with these seasons? There are many reasons, although I can’t deny that it starts with the clothes. I love winter coats and boots, and I love the need to layer and scarf up before I leave the house. You can wear more and be more imaginative. You get to see people’s personal style more clearly when it’s cooler. All the colours are just richer somehow.
Freya
Welcome to freefall… I'm in my late twenties. My great loves are the creative arts, particularly music and creative writing. I have cerebral palsy (CP). In my case it means that I can't walk very easily - I use a chair most of the time. More about me…
