Being in my early thirties, many of my friends are thinking about having kids. As a result, some of them ask me the questions Can you have kids?
and Do you want kids?
Yes, physically I can have children. A pregnancy would be, more than likely, uncomfortable for my structurally unique
body (my hips and back would hate me for it). It would be tough, but I could if I wanted to.
So your child has just been diagnosed with cerebral palsy? I’m sorry, that sucks. It really does. No, your lives won’t be the same, nor will that of your child. I guess it’s still too early to be able to tell how things will be. It’s okay to mourn what could have been. We all wonder sometimes. Just remember to find the good bits in the current moment, however small or fleeting (given time, you really will find some).
And no, neither one of you did anything to deserve this. Even though I know you do, you shouldn’t feel guilty for this. Hopefully time will fade that a little. It sounds lame, and I know you want a reason as to why you and not someone else, but there really isn’t one.
Most people with cerebral palsy have had at least some experiences with hospitals. I am of the generation where surgery was the answer to everything. I think that if I were to add it all up, I would have spent about a year of my life in hospital. Medicine and I, we have history.
I had my first hip surgery when I was eight. I remember feeling ripped off as it was either on the day of my birthday, or the day before. I was in a long body cast for about ten weeks, which kinda sucked, but it was okay. My parents snuck a kitten into the ward as a birthday gift. My brothers also came to see me whenever they could. One of my brothers mastered the art of making blow up animals and chicken heads with sterile gloves, a talent he still retains today.
Freya
Welcome to freefall… I'm in my late twenties. My great loves are the creative arts, particularly music and creative writing. I have cerebral palsy (CP). In my case it means that I can't walk very easily - I use a chair most of the time. More about me…
Dearest Lilly
We all know that I read a lot of blogs. I read them to see what other bloggers are writing. I also read them to see the types of comments people make about them. Today, while I was blog trawling, I came across the following comment relating to educating kids with disabilities in America.
‘Why do we even bother paying for education for these kids?’ wrote a commenter named Lilly. ‘Their parents chose to have kids and now their disability and special needs amount to a rise in taxes. Their parents just get a lawyer and fight and fight until the school district ends up paying for special programs. Why? Why not divert the funds for gifted and talented students instead of kids who will need societal support their whole life.’
Read more: Dearest Lilly
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