Cerebral Palsy Alliance

Archive for August, 2009

Never look back.. but best not go too far forward..

  • 27 August 2009
  • By Freya in

I’m one of those people who tries not to look back into the past too much, but I also find that try not to plan too far ahead or plan too much into the future. As a person with a disability, forward planning the next ten years can be scary.

Disregarding the fact I am Aries – apparently naturally impulsive and quick to decide – I don’t like planning too far in advance. I find it, on the whole, to be like tempting fate to come and kick me on my butt. Much of my life, even my daily routine, is built around the presence of others. It’s not the way I would wish it, it is the way it has to be. Planning too much seems somehow even more restrictive. There are so many variables that if even one part is altered slightly, the whole picture can change completely.

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A bit of a mystery

As I sometimes do, I was trawling through magazines for blog ideas. This time they were ‘disability magazines’. You know the thing that struck me? Both the covers and many of the articles left little to the imagination.

The cover that particularly struck me was a photo of the back view of an elderly man in just his undies and a hospital gown. The other, a girl who was holding her prosthetic eyes in the palm of her hand. I realise that, by its very nature and requirements, disability allows for very little privacy. The issues discussed in these magazines are important and need to be aired, but isn’t it possible to do so with a little dignity and class rather than relying on shock value to capture people’s interest? Would they put such a cover on Time?

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Friends in strange places

Anyone who is a friend of mine knows that they are in for some unusual experiences. I’ve been known to wear ‘Shrek’ horns around my house. I have also taken part in enthusiastic discussions with complete strangers as to why they really shouldn’t say bad things about ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. Yes, life with me is unique, but there are also other times when the unsuspecting around me realise just how unique I am, what friendship with me might occasionally entail, and these times are weird and uncomfortable for both of us.

I have a carer in the morning to help me get out of bed and dressed for the day. I have another carer at night to get me back into bed again. For the most part, this routine works well. It’s seamless and disrupts little around me.

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Perspective

Some of my friends are having a really rough time at the moment – stuff harder than I’ve ever had to deal with myself. My heart goes out to them. All I can do is be there and see them through it as best as I can.

I’m sure there will be people saying, ‘Don’t worry about them – look at all you have to deal with’. You know what? That’s no reason to disregard care and have empathy for others. Having a disability is like having blond hair, it has its pros and its cons. We don’t hold the monopoly on pain and suffering. To think we do is rather ignorant.

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